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Irish Quotes


Irish mammies have the best way of expressing themselves, here are our favourite 100 Irish Mammyisms!! 


01. A little Birdy told me

02. Am I talking to a brick wall?

03. Are you deaf or something?

04. As long as you live under my roof you'll do as I say -d'ya hear me?.

05. Beds are not made for jumping on.

06. Close the door! You don't live in a barn.

07. Did you brush your teeth?

08. Did you comb your hair?

09. Do you think I'm made of money or something?

10. I suppose you think your socks are going to pick themselves up?

11. If you eat that you'll get worms!

12. Don't make me get up!

13. Stop running in the house.

14. Sit back from the television or you’ll get square eyes.

15. Don't talk with your mouth full!

16. Don't walk away when I'm talking to you!

17. Eat your vegetables, they're good for you

18. How do you know you don't like it if you haven't even tasted it?

19. I brought you into this world, and I can take you out just as easy!

20. I didn't ask who put it there, I said "Pick it up!"

21. I don't care what "everyone" is doing.

22. I don't have to explain myself. I said no.

23. I hope someday you have children just like you.

24. If you could stay out last night, you can get up this morning.

25. If you stick your tongue out again I'll cut it off.

26. If you're too sick to go to school, you're too sick to play outside.

27. I'm going to skin you alive!

28. I'm not going to ask you again.

29. What am I your cleaning lady?

30. It’s way past your bedtime.

31. Look at me when I'm talking to you.

32. Money does NOT grow on trees.

32. No child of MINE is going out dressed like that.

34. I swear ta God!

35. Over my dead body!

36. Pick that up before somebody trips on it and breaks their neck!

37. Put that down! You don't know where it's been!

38. Say that again and I'll give you a thick ear.

39. Shut your mouth and eat your dinner.

40. If Sean's mom let him jump off a cliff, would you want me to let you do it too?

41. There's enough dirt in those ears to grow potatoes!

42. Jeasus Mary & Joseph

43. You could grow cabbages behind those eaars.

44. Believe me this hurts me more than it hurts you.

45. Turn that racket down!

46. Right that's it, where's the wooden spoon?

47. Watch your mouth!

48. What did I say the FIRST time?

49. What part of NO don't you understand?

50. When you have your own house then you can make the rules!

51. Where do YOU think you're going?

52. Would ya look what the cat dragged in.

53. Finally, the dead arose and apeared to many.

54. Who died and made you boss?

55. Who do you think you're talking to?

56. Yes I am the boss of you.

57. You won't be happy until you break that, will you?

58. You'll understand when you're older.

59. If you fall off that wall and break your legs don't come running to me!

60. A little soap & water never killed anybody

61. Answer me when I ask you a question

62. You’re not going out dressed like that

63. Where do you think you're going in that get up?

64. Are your hands broken? Pick it up yourself! I'm not your maid

65. Do you think this is a hotel?

66. Don't ask me WHY. The answer is NO

67. Don't cross your eyes or they'll freeze that way

68. Don't EVER let me catch you doing that again

69. Don't make me come up there

70. Don't use that tone with me

71. Ask your father

72. How many times do I have to tell you?

73. God above, give me patience

74. I don't care who started it,I’m ending it

75. If I want your opinion I'll ask for it!

76. If I've told you once ... I've told you a thousand times.

77. If you don't clean your plate, you won't get any dessert.

78. If you don't stop crying, I'll give you something to cry about!

79. I'll treat you like a grown up when you start acting like one.

80. I'm going to give you until the count of three and then I'm getting your father...1,2...that's it!

81. I'm not running a taxi service yuno

82. I'm not your maid

83. Have you done your homework yet?

84. I've had it up to here with the lot of ye.

85. Look at this room! It looks like a pigsty

86. Now, say you're sorry...and MEAN it!

87. Think of those poor starving children in Africa

88. Were you born in a barn?

89. Why? Because I SAID so, that's why!

90. You are getting on my last nerve.

91. You had better wipe that smile off your face before I do it for you.

92. You WILL eat it, and you WILL like it!

93. You'd forget your head if it wasn't attached to your shoulders!

94. You're going to put your eye out with that thing!

95. Wait ‘til your father gets home!

96. Did you turn off the immersion?

97. If you're not asleep when I come up I'll kill ya!

98. Honest ta God you'll be the death of me!

99. Are you a man or a mouse?

100.What time do you call this?


Love Quotations by Famous Irish writers - perfect for Valetentine's Day


You are the last honey by the water no hive can find - Austin Clarke


Come live in my heart and pay no rent. - Samuel Lover (1797-1868)


There is nothing half so sweet in life as love's young dreams - Thomas Moore (1779-1852)


Wine comes in at the mouth
And love comes in at the eye;
That's all that we will know for truth
Before we grow old and die.
I lift the glass to my mouth,
I look at you and I sigh. - William Butler Yeats (1865-1939)


The deeper I spin
The hunter will sin ... for your ivory skin ...
Took a drive in the dirty rain
To a place where the wind calls your name
Under the trees the river laughing
At you and me ...
Halluijah, heavens white rose
The doors you open
I just can't close --U2, Who's Gonna Ride Your Wild Horses?


Had I the heavens' embroidered cloths,
Enwrought with golden and silver light,
The blue and the dim and the dark cloths
Of night and light and the half light,
I would spread the cloths under your feet:
But I, being poor, have only my dreams;
I have spread my dreams under your feet;
Tread softly because you tread on my dreams. --William Butler Yeats


Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try Again. Fail again. Fail better. --Samuel Beckett


It is a curious sensation: the sort of pain that goes mercifully beyond our powers of feeling. When your heart is broken, your boats are burned: nothing matters any more. It is the end of happiness and the beginning of peace. --George Bernard Shaw


First love is only a little foolishness and a lot of curiosity. --George Bernard Shaw


He must have a truly romantic nature, for he weeps when there is nothing at all to weep about. --Oscar Wilde


When one is in love, one always begins by deceiving one's self, and one always ends by deceiving others. That is what the world calls a romance. --Oscar Wilde


It is assumed that the woman must wait, motionless, until she is wooed. That is how the spider waits for the fly. - George Bernard Shaw


The heart was made to be broken. -Oscar Wilde


Women were made to be loved not to be understood. - Oscar Wilde


A pity beyond all telling Is hid in the heart of love- William Butler Yeats


The wind blows out of the gates of the day, The wind blows over the lonely of heart, And the lonely of heart is withered away. - William Butler Yeats



As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her daughters, she is perfectly satisfied.

- Oscar Wilde

 There is only one thing in the world worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about. 

- Oscar Wilde

 By God, the old man could handle a spade. 

Just like his old man.

My grandfather cut more turf in a day
Than any other man on Toner’s bog.
Once I carried him milk in a bottle
Corked sloppily with paper. He straightened up
To drink it, then fell to right away
Nicking and slicing neatly, heaving sods
Over his shoulder, going down and down
For the good turf. Digging.

The cold smell of potato mould, the squelch and slap
Of soggy peat, the curt cuts of an edge
Through living roots awaken in my head.
But I’ve no spade to follow men like them.

Between my finger and my thumb
The squat pen rests.
I’ll dig with it.
-Seamus Heaney

Even if the hopes you started out with are dashed, hope has to be maintained.
-Seamus Heaney

Keep your head in the clouds, your feet on the ground, and your heart in & the middle to balance the two.
-Unknown author

There are no Strangers here, only friends that have not yet met.
- William Butler Yeats

Here's to a long life and a merry one.
A quick death and an easy one.
A pretty girl and an honest one.
A cold pint - and another one!!
- Irish Toast

Some mornings you wake up and think, gee I look handsome today. Other days I think, what am I doing in the movies? I wanna go back to Ireland and drive a forklift.
-Liam Neeson

May you never steal, lie or cheat. But if you must steal, then steal away my sorrows. And if you must lie, lie with me all the nights of my life. And if you must cheat, then please cheat death, because I couldn't live a day without you
-Old Irish Blessing


I'm Irish, so I'm used to odd stews. I can take it. Just throw a lot of carrots and onions in there and I'll call it dinner.

-Liam Neeson


God could not be everywhere so he invented mother.
-Irish Proverb

Education is not the filling of the pail, but the lighting of a fire.
-William B. Yeats

What ever else is unsure in this stinking dunghill of a world, a Mother's love is not
-James Joyce

This is one race of people for whom psychoanalysis is of no use whatsoever.
-Sigmund Freud

What it means to be Irish...

Love is never defeated, and I could add; the history of Ireland proves it.
-Pope John Paul II

"There’s still a great hesitancy in the Irish make up about expressing feelings... it’d be nice to say I miss you, I love you, come home."
-Fionnuala Flanagan, Irish Actress

“When anyone asks me about the Irish character, I say look at the trees. Maimed, stark and misshapen, but ferociously tenacious.”
-Edna O'Brien, Irish Author

Some mornings you wake up and think, gee I look handsome today. Other days I think, what am I doing in the movies? I wanna go back to Ireland and drive a forklift.
-Liam Neeson

"My Mum taught me great manners. And she always told me that you can be or do whatever in life, as long as you don't hurt anyone and you're happy. My Mum's great; I adore her."
-Colin Farrell

I will be a President for all the people, whether they voted for me or not, whether they are young or old and particularly for the Irish abroad. I'm looking forward to it and I think it will be exciting and wonderful.
-Irish President Michael D. Higgins


In Ireland every place you visit and every  person you meet has a story. And they love to tell you their stories.  Everyone is interested in everything; in a land of storytellers, you will never be bored.
-Maeve Binchy, Author RIP

Being Irish and a citizen of the world, has made me truly appreciate Irish culture, music and history. Whether you’re first, second generation Irish or even with no connection to Ireland, you should visit in 2013 for a unique experience.
-Liam Neeson, Actor

"Hugging trees has a calming effect on me. I'm talking about enormous trees that will be there when we are all dead and gone. I've hugged trees in every part of this little island."
- Gerry Adams

“I know how teams work. I've been doing this for 30 years."
-Giovanni Trapattoni (Ireland soccer manager)

"Robbie arrived halfway through last season, scored his first goal in  the first 21 minutes of his first game. His teammates were so happy to  have him that they filled his locker with what they called the  'pleasures of Ireland' -- Guinness, Baileys, and Irish Spring. Hopefully Robbie has broadened their horizons a little bit since then,”
-Barrack Obama speaking to the LA Galaxy Soccer Team in Washington DC

"Can clearly say vegemite is horrible! Like tryin new stuff though..."
-Niall Horan from One Direction, trying Vegemite live on channel 7 on a recent visit to Australia.

Murphy's Law:
Nothing is as easy as it looks.
Everything takes longer than you expect.
And if anything can go wrong,It will at the worst possible moment.

"Women are made to be loved, not understood".
-Jonathan Swift

I've put in so many enigmas and puzzles  that it will keep the professors busy for centuries arguing over what I  meant, and that's the only way of insuring one's immortality.
-James Joyce on Ulysses

"Deep breaths, short steps and don't stop"
-Irish President Mary McAleese speaking about the Irish recession

It is better to spend money like there’s no tomorrow than to spend tonight like there’s no money!
–Irish toast

"Resentment is like taking poison and waiting for someone else to die".
-Malachy McCourt

I don't do drugs, if I want a rush I just stand up when I'm not expecting it"
-Dylan Moran

"Remember that whatever the winter may bring, springtime is always just around the corner. And if they keep on arguing with you, just respond with a simple creed:Is Féidir Linn. Yes, we can".
-US President, Barack Obama on a recent visit to Ireland.

"Beware of the man whose God is in the skies."<
- George Bernard Shaw

It is better to spend money like there’s no tomorrow than to spend tonight like there’s no money!
- Irish Toast

"Every action of our lives touches on some chord that will vibrate in eternity."
- Sean O'Casey

Valentines Poem
The red rose whispers of passion,
And the white rose breathes of love, the red rose is a falcon,
And the white rose is a dove.
But I send you a cream-white- rosebud
With a flush on its petal tips;
For the love that is purest and sweetest
Has a kiss of desire on the lips.
- John Boyle O'Reilly

Valentines Poem
He gives his Beloved certain Rhymes
Fasten your hair with a golden pin,
And bind up every wandering tress;
I bade my heart build these poor rhymes:
It worked at them, day out, day in,
Building a sorrowful loveliness
Out of the batdes of old times.

-W B Yeats

You need but lift a pearl-pale hand, And bind up your long hair and sigh;
And all men's hearts must bum and beat;
And candle-like foam on the dim sand,
And stars climbing the dew-dropping sky,
Live but to light your passing feet.
-W.B. Yeats

"It was a bold man who ate the first oyster."
- Jonathan Swift

"Ireland, sir, for good or evil, is like no other place under heaven, and no man can touch its sod or breathe its air without becoming better ."
- George Bernard Shaw

A turkey never voted for an early Christmas.
-Irish Proverb

"A cabin with plenty of food is better than a hungry castle"
-Unknown author

Keep your head in the clouds, your feet on the ground, and your heart in & the middle to balance the two.
-Unknown author

There's many lost, but tell me, who has won?
-Bono on the topic of War, "Sunday Bloody Sunday".

"It's easy to love humanity when you're this far away from it."
- Actor Daniel Day Lewis (who has lived in Ireland at various times), quoted while looking down from the mountains of Luggala, County Wicklow in The New York Times

"I'm Irish. I think about death all the time."
-Jack Nicholson

The secret of being miserable is to have leisure to bother about whether you are happy or not. The cure for it is occupation.
-George Bernard Shaw

Even if the hopes you started out with are dashed, hope has to be maintained.
-Seamus Heaney

The time to repair the roof is when the sun is shining.
-Former U.S. president John F Kennedy

“Take care to get what you like or you will be forced to like what you get.”
- George Bernard Shaw

I can resist everything except temptation.
- Oscar Wilde

"The immigrant's heart marches to the beat of two quite different drums, one from the old homeland and the other from the new. The immigrant has to bridge these two worlds, living comfortably in the new and bringing the best of his or her ancient identity and heritage to bear on life in an adopted homeland."
- Irish President McAleese

The easiest job in the world has to be coroner. Surgery on dead people. What's the worst thing that could happen? If everything went wrong, maybe you'd get a pulse
- Dennis Miller

Humor is mankind's greatest blessing.
- Mark Twain

Anyone acquainted with Ireland knows that the morning of St. Patrick's Day consists of the night of the seventeenth of March flavored strongly with the morning of the eighteenth.
-Author Unknown

If a man who cannot count finds a four-leaf clover, is he lucky?
-Stanislaw J. Lec

All life is an experiment. The more experiments you make the better.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

"You know it's summer in Ireland when the rain gets warmer."
-Hal Roach

"May you live as long as you want, and never want as long as you live"

"The secret of success is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake these, you've got it made."
-Mark Twain

"The truth comes out when the spirit goes in."

“Continual cheerfulness is a sign of wisdom.”

"You should appreciate food. Take the time to cook for people. Learning how to make a new meal and to then share it, is a universal and delightful expression of love. Food is not just something practical you have to attend three times a day.; It's a wonderful way of sharing life."

"All the world's a stage and most of us are desperately unrehearsed."
-Sean O'Casey

Illusion is the first of all pleasures.
-Oscar Wilde

Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination.
-Oscar Wilde

Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else's opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation
-Oscar Wilde Irish dramatist, novelist, & poet (1854 - 1900)